"Validating someone means recognizing that a person’s own perceptions are worth listening to. It is recognizing them as real human things that real humans think. When they say, “I hate myself,” or “I’m worthless,” or “I wish my mother would die,” validation is saying, “Yeah. I can see you really do. You feel this way really strongly.”
Most of what was cast in the 80s and 90s as failure to praise children was actually failure to validate them. When a child comes to an adult, dripping with defeat, and says, “I failed,” praise is, “No you didn’t! You did really well!” and validation is, “You’re really disappointed with how you did, hunh? That sucks.” And over time, if adults do nothing but praise, what children hear is: Your self-doubt and weaknesses are not wanted here. Failure is not acceptable, not even thinkable. I cannot accept you unless you do well."
People always make Juliet out to be dumb in Romeo and Juliet, but I think she at least had some sense where Romeo didn't have much of any
- Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
- Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
- Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
- Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
- Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
- Juliet: That was dumb of you
- Romeo: We should get married right now
- Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
- Romeo: Like tomorrow?
- Juliet: Sure, fine.
- Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
- Romeo: Right.
- Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
- Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
- Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
- Juliet: For fucks sake.